Every culture upholds distinct customs and practices regarding weddings and financial responsibilities. In the traditional U.S. wedding scenario, the bride’s family traditionally handles expenses related to the wedding day, while the groom’s family often covers additional events like the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon.
However, these customs are subject to reinterpretation in today’s modern context. Some brides now anticipate their bridesmaids to shoulder the cost of their dresses merely for the honor of being part of the wedding party. While some individuals willingly oblige to support their family or friends financially, questions arise about how much is considered excessive.
Recently, individuals on a popular online forum gathered to exchange thoughts on this matter and share personal anecdotes. Here’s their take on the matter:
1- Bride Forgot Everyone’s Budget
One bridesmaid dropped out of a friend’s wedding party because she was expected to pay $900 for her dress and was considered rude for not wanting to do so.
A forum member asked if the bride was rich. “Well, she wasn’t, but she married rich and suddenly forgot what it was like not to have money,” the ex-bridesmaid replies. “She asked me to borrow money from my unemployed boyfriend (now husband) and told me to dump him when I said I would never ask that of him. Safe to say we aren’t friends anymore.”
2- Four Times a Bridesmaid
One forum member says that she’s been a bridesmaid four times and, each time, was expected to pay between $100 and $350 per dress. “It’s ridiculous to think that a bridesmaid should be expected to dish out hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars for a bridal shower and bachelorette parties.” This person believes that wedding culture has gone crazy — especially as now many people expect to make an elaborate full weekend trip as the bachelorette party.
3- Bride Expected Too Much
Some people feel everyone around them needs to pay for the benefit of being their friend. A forum member says she doesn’t speak to a girlfriend anymore because they expected her to pay for a destination bachelorette party, a $200 dress, get to the destination wedding, and buy an engagement gift.
4- Banned for Their Opinion
People feel so strongly about this new wedding culture that one person got banned from a wedding planning forum for expressing that elaborate bachelorette trips shouldn’t be the new norm because they were unfair to the attendees who were expected to pay. “That’s unbelievable! Not to mention the amount of money you spend on themed clothing and accessories.”
5- The Bride Will Have a Meltdown
One bridesmaid is attending a destination wedding in Costa Rica and says she doesn’t mind the cost because it’s a vacation for her too. However, she’s concerned because the bride-to-be keeps demanding more and more. “It’s a lot of time off work that will hurt the wallet. On top of this, we’ve also done the engagement party and bridal shower, spent $400 on the dress, and she now wants to do a bachelorette weekend eight hours away. I really can’t afford more time off work, but I know she’ll have a meltdown if I say I can’t go.”
6- Gold Sequinned Dress
A potential bridesmaid got kicked out of a wedding party after she lost her job because of illness and could no longer afford the dress. “It was a $250 gold sequin single-shoulder floor-length gown that I would never ever wear again. I was called ungrateful. I was sleeping 13 hours a night, and my heart rate was always 140 BPM. I’m so selfish.”
7- Not Just in The US
An African forum member says that the expectation for the bridesmaids to contribute money isn’t just in the West. “Unless the bridegroom is very wealthy, bridesmaids have to cover the costs of the fabric and other costs to make the similar dresses, high heels for the church service, then flat shoes for the reception.” They’re also expected to cover the cost of the make-up artist and hairdressing. Groomsmen are also expected to cover the cost of their suits and shoes.
8- Family Should Pay
One person says that she was expected to pay $276 for her bridesmaid’s dress when she wasn’t doing well financially. She was also told that she had to buy gold heels. “I was very upset, but it was for my sister, so I couldn’t say ‘no.'”
Understandably, this is the bride’s big day, but not considering the circumstances of friends and family when making these demands makes them entitled.
A forum member responded by saying, “I feel like a family should especially pay for their family members’ bridesmaid dresses or groomsmen suits. If the family members were attending as guests only, they could wear something they already have or that they would wear again, but that isn’t usually the case when the couple chooses the clothes.”
9- Rental Dresses
In many cases, groomsmen can rent their suits or tuxedos. As several people pointed out, the chances of groomsmen wearing a suit another time is slim — especially if they’re expected to wear a particular color or style. Someone says there should be a similar service for bridesmaids’ dresses.
“Services like Rent the Runway and all have been great for wedding guests. However, you’re not allowed to tailor any of the dresses you rent (unlike a suit), so it can be much more challenging to find a good fit.” A recent groomsman says, “I just dropped $250 on a tux rental for a wedding. Not the end of the world, but especially annoying when the groom gets his free for sticking the rest of us with a particular tux from a particular outfitter.”
Source: (Reddit).
